I Will Never Let You Down
Photo by Nahid Hatami
Most of us have that one album or maybe two that carried us through a dark, uncertain, and overwhelming time. An album that became our gospel, where we felt seen like never before, received its instruction, and found motivation and understanding. Sometimes, music is so powerful that it helps us build a sense of self, a foundation, and a clearer understanding of who we are especially when everything around us feels confusing, unreflective of our truth, our needs, and our desires.
The album that came to me when I needed it most when I felt defeated, uninspired, frustrated, or, as the artist himself put it, “insecure”—in a place I was conditioned to believe would bring me security, was The College Dropout by Kanye West. That album was life-changing. Anchoring. I had it on repeat, and even now, I return to it whenever my spirit feels dismayed.
It was as if he was telling my soul’s story, giving voice to the frustration and disillusionment I felt as a young adult who had reached the so-called pinnacle…college, only to realize it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Instead of liberation, it felt stifling, a space that failed to reflect my truth or nurture my spirit.
One song that immediately struck me deeply, undeniably, was Never Let Me Down. But it was J. Ivy’s verse that struck a chord deep within me. His words didn’t just land; they planted themselves in my spirit. Poet and lyricist J. Ivy, a Pisces (Happy Birthday, 3.3), embodies the depth and fluidity of his sign in his artistry. Over the years, as I continued to track his music and poetry, I’ve felt that Pisces energy flowing through him, like water shaping the land, like dreams of healing carving their place into waking life.
There’s one part of his verse that has stayed with me, becoming a guiding principle in my life and work:
"When I say I can't let you or self down
If I were on the highest cliff, on the highest riff
And you slipped off the side and clenched onto your life in my grip
I would never, ever, let you down."
This, to me, is a radical mindset. A way of being grounded in the transformative power of love, something we desperately need in a world shaped by necropolitics, exploitation, disposability, and dehumanization. A world that teaches us to let go, to discard, to turn away. But what if we didn’t?
I have sat with these lyrics, envisioning both the people who have hurt me most—those who have wounded me personally, the abusers, the betrayers and the world leaders dictators responsible for unimaginable harm and destruction. I have held them both in my mind, side by side. I have imagined them clinging to the edge, their lives in my grip. And deep in my heart, I have found that I cannot let them go.
Who am I to release them? I am neither judge nor jury. I am not God.
All I can do is remember that though they may be lost, though they may be disconnected from their humanity and therefore the humanity of otherness, the same aliveness, the same divine essence that flows through me flows through them. And so, even through tears, even through pain, I cannot let them fall. Because somewhere, somehow, their suffering is entwined with mine. If I loosen my grip, if I let them slip away, I go down with them deepening the wound, fueling the suffering, making myself part of the cycle I long to break.
This is the work of Whole with Joy—how do we consciously choose to break cycles of harm? To refuse to return evil for evil? This doesn’t mean we subject ourselves to abuse or remain in harm’s way. But it does mean asking: How can we move differently? How do we refuse to become what wounded us? How do we hold onto one another’s humanity? And how do we create a culture that uplifts instead of destroys?
J. Ivy continues to rap:
"We are all here for a reason, on a particular path
You don't need a curriculum to know that you are part of the math
Cats think I'm delirious, but I'm so damn serious
That's why I expose my soul to the globe, the world
I'm tryna make it better for these little boys and girls."
"I'm not just another individual
My spirit is a part of this, that's why I get spiritual
But I get my hymns from Him
So it's not me, it's He that's lyrical
I'm not a miracle
I'm a heaven-sent instrument
My rhythmatic regiment navigates melodic notes for your soul and your mental
That's why I'm instrumental
Vibrations is what I'm into."
"Yeah, I need my loot by rent day
But that ain't what gives me the heart of Kunta Kinte
I'm tryin' to give us, 'us free' like Cinque
I can't stop
That's why I'm hot
Determination, dedication, motivation
I'm talking to you of my many inspirations
When I say I can't let you or self down
If I were on the highest cliff, on the highest riff
And you slipped off the side and clenched onto your life in my grip
I would never, ever, let you down."
"And when these words are found
Let it be known that God's penmanship
Has been signed in the language called love
That's why my breath is felt by the deaf
And why my words are heard and confined to the ears of the blind
I, too, dream in color, and in rhyme
So I guess I'm one of a kind in a full house
'Cause whenever I open my heart, my soul, or my mouth
A touch of God rains out."
That last line, a touch of God rains out, feels like truth itself. Like a calling. And so I return to this: How do we hold on? How do we create spaces where love, wholeness, and liberation are not just ideas but embodied practices? How do we reach for one another even when it feels impossible?
I don’t have all the answers. But I know this: I will never let you down.
Welcome to Whole with Joy!
I’m so glad you’re here. I truly hope this reflection has offered you something positive or perhaps something to consider. I’d love to hear your thoughts and any feedback you may have, so please feel free to share in the comments.
At Whole with Joy, we believe in our collective potential to heal and reclaim liberation through wholeness—an embodiment of a love ethic that is courageous, action-oriented, and transformative. Join the movement by subscribing to our newsletter. By subscribing, you’ll discover more about our community, explore ways to support and connect, and stay updated on offerings and opportunities that inspire us all to embrace wholeness as a path to liberation and transform the world with love.
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