Dear Sha'Carri
From one queer Black femme to another:
When I read about your suspension and then saw your interview, I cried. I swelled with anger, grief, and a sense of helplessness. Part of me felt an urge to avenge you. And then I was guided to pray for you, to send healing and energy of protection your way so you could feel how loved you are. Sha’carri during the interview, you stated you weren’t asking for “empathy”, but I know this speaks to a longing for the medicine you deserve - compassion. Sha’Carri, you deserve compassion, you don’t deserve this.
I admire you and the depths of your vulnerability. You have courageously named the complex relationship you had with your biological mother. I cry when I think of the intense shock waves that jolted your nervous system when you found out about her loss of life in the manner that you did. Receiving that kind of earth-shattering news in your current position, carrying a weight you did not ask for just because of the color of your skin, is too much. We witnessed you bolt down the track carried by the wings of love and responsibility, inspired your grandmother’s love. Like the majestic power of the ram’s horns, your hair showed little Black girls how big they can dream. Black girls who this society stays policing and often tries to write off due to the indoctrination of White supremacy and misogynoir. Sha'Carri, when an overwhelmed nervous system experiences shock trauma, the executive functioning part of the brain becomes paralyzed. When the body is in a trauma/stress response, the brain’s prefrontal cortex faculties shut down. And so though you said you were aware of the “rules”, the truth is, the ability to truly ground yourself with clear, sound logic while in such a state is impaired. Why isn’t anyone considering this truth in your case? These rules should be reconstructed in ways that are trauma-responsive, compassionate, and just. Instead, you are forced to face the daggers of shame due to this very public and punitive nature when your heart is grief-stricken enough.
As a queer black femme, best believe weed has gotten me through many days and difficult times. In times when I didn’t want to be in pain and needed to escape to some other realm, weed is/has been a lifeline. You are entitled to choice when it comes to your body and those choices should not be criminalized. Sha’Carri, I hope you deeply understand and feel that this isn’t a reflection of who you are, this is a reflection of an unjust, oppressive rule shaped by structurally racist drug policies. Robbing you of the opportunity that you rightfully earned and deserve, this rule is doing exactly what it was designed to do.
Like so many Black womxn, you have shown us your power, your strength to transmute the trauma and grief of life’s adversities. You embody the phoenix when we see you fly down the track. You, Sha’Carri remind them of what they fear Black, queer, femme, living in your power and truth. You defy any box they’ve tried to put you in. It is for this very reason such policies and laws have historically been put into place, designed to dim our light, stamp out our fire, to take away the possibility of having a chance. Ignore the haters and their comments. They judge, shame, and police themselves and so, of course, they will do the same to you. Due to religious dogma, internalized white supremacy, misogynoir, and emotional immaturity, they struggle with seeing beyond the binary illusion of “good vs. bad” and black or white thinking. This is separatist and it breeds the “us vs them” culture and superiority complex which then absolves one from thinking critically about what happened to you. You are a reflection of all of us.
Sha’Carri, through the pain, the disappointment, and through those inevitable dark days, I hope that you may always remember your infinite worth and your divine wholeness. Thank you for being you, you inspire me.
Photo: Instagram: Sha’carri Richardson
